Helping isn’t sexy

My friend’s mom died.

No one wants to help make meals for her family.

In my recovery circle, they are always talking about what a family we are. How we are here for each other, when needed. Take a number, call.

I called someone recently just to say hi. She didn’t pick up, so I left an upbeat, positive voicemail.

Moments later she texted me “is everything OK?”

Goddamn. Yes. I just want to hear a human voice of a friend.

Today I texted and emailed a large amount of friends (individually) about my friend’s family needing some meals during this tough time. One of those so-called “friendly” women wrote back one demoralizing word.


I’m not a fucking opt-out marketing service. I’m asking your help to assist another woman in recovery.

Sometimes I want to throw up my hands with big fuck off middle fingers and say “thanks for your help!”

People say they are there for you…

But most people are only there for the good times. Or your pussy. Your wealth and fortune. Your weight loss. The parties. The lunches and dinners.

Not many people want to see you when you’re broke as fuck with zero fucks to give. They don’t want to see the pain in your eyes, the physical pain in your body. They only want the good times.

Be cognizant of this. Let go of the people who don’t want you for all of you. They don’t serve your good shit if they can’t handle your bad shit.

It’s okay to let them go. If they are true friends, they will reveal themselves.

I’m sad that my recovery family is mostly in name and mostly only in the 60 minutes of our meetings. I wish they were more open to friendship with me outside of meetings or more willing to lend a hand, as they claim to do. Last week I was stood up, 4 times, by 4 different people in recovery.

It was really fucking annoying.

I’ve never really had a best friend in adulthood. Now I do. I have a few- very few- people I consider true friends.

They are worth more than any amount of money or lifetime of fame. They are people I can lean on in times my head is spinning or my heart is breaking. I can tell them anything and we laugh, pray, cry, and love together. It is a true blessing.

So, that snippy woman who I know IN REAL LIFE wrote back “stop” tonight, I decided I would take her advice. I will stop with the people who are quickly revealing themselves as full of shit and flakey as fuck.

I am blessed with a few true friends, one best friend, and working on compassion for self, compassion to all- including snip snip.

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