I hope

I hope this doesn’t wake you.

I have to testify this Friday. And I thought the uncertainty of the future and the fear of meth heads outside that I can hear were the things keeping me up.

But then it hit me.

A woman came to me door. She was almost murdered by a drunk abusive man. He held her against her will. He beat her so bad. She barely survived. And I was the one who answered the door. I don’t want to revisit those memories.

I don’t want to see him smirking or looking stoic or being an asshole. I don’t want anything.

I want my life. I want my new job and new things and old friends. I don’t want this.

God. Please help me. I cannot do this alone. I need you now more than ever. The pain in my back, the tears down my cheek. I am so disheartened by this tremendous act of violence. Please help me toward the light of protection.

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